how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Boobs are out for the taking
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
