he wants to bone in the snuggie
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
