Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
