we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
