He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
PANTIES FOUND
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