Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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