Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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