I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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