I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
