He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
3pm strippers are depressing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
