at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
