How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
