I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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