what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am available for nakedness
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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