This girl is more easily done than said...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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