This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
