What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
