just come out here and I will go home with you...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
