In the future we'll all be gay
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
