I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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