whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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