You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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