I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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