I wanna bring you to show and tell
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
