Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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