i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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