hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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