I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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