So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
