I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
