i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
