not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
