maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize