ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
love makes seman taste better
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
