In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
