do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize