haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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