I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
