Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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