Quick, to the slutcave!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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