I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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