Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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