Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Someone signed my nipple.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize