No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
