is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
