i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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