The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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