Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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