i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
