Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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