I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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