I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
