i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
