even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
