I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize