I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
