Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
